"I'm so proud of you for keeping at it!"

My second-grade daughter started piano lessons last fall. Eight months later, she's starting to sound pretty good.

During the past week, her rendition of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain" is sounding really good. I find myself humming along and when she's finished, I praise her: "Wow, babe, that was really good!"

Also this past week, a friend of mine pointed me toward the research of Professor Carol Dweck, A Stanford University psychologist who studies motivation in children and adults, Professor Dweck's research focuses on how people's belief about intelligence impacts how much they learn.

Some young people, she writes, believe that Intelligence or skill depends on innate ability. You either have it or you don't. She calls this a "fixed mind-set."

Other young people believe that intelligence and skills can be developed through education and hard work. They relish the challenge of learning because they believe it will pay off. She calls this a "growth-oriented" mind-set.

Not surprisingly, she finds that students who are growth-oriented do better in school than those who have a fixed mind-set.

And in a recent piece in Scientific American, she has some advice for parents: praising your child's effort is better than praising their achievement. This is because praising effort reinforces the growth mind-set.

This got me thinking: Why is my second-grader suddenly sounding better on the piano after eight months of lessons? Is it because she's recently learned some particular new skills? Have we finally discovered that she has talent?

No, it's because she's learning faster now than she was before. And she's learning faster because she's trying harder and spending more time practicing. She's spending more time practicing because she's enjoying it more. And she's enjoying it more because she's feeling successful.

This past  week, it seems that she "broke through" on the hardest part of "Coming 'Round the Mountain." She played it over and over and over again (yes, sometimes I wanted to escape!) until her halting and mistake-riddled attempts were transformed into a fluent and spirited melody.

I think Professor Dweck is right. Surely, I don't believe I did any harm by praising her when she "broke through" and found success. But even more important, I should be praising her for her effort...for her determination to keep trying until she gets it right. She should be hearing from me after half an hour of working hard on something that is difficult: "I'm so proud of you for keeping at it!"

That way, I can help her develop a growth mind-set, the greatest gift of all.

Comments

[friend of GS]

Understanding how damaging the "fixed mindset" is important-- I think it is a significant part of the achievement gap and highlights a need for more role models from underrepresented communities. When Obama is president, test scores will go up. It will look like a step function.

[Conni McDonnell]

As parents it's likely we'll all agree that praising our children is incredibly important. Countless psychological studies have shown that excessive critical comments have a damaging effect on mental health. So it certainly makes sense that praising a child is valuable for self esteem .

... so also makes good sense that in terms of encouraging children to tackle challenges effectively, praising their hard work or effort would be more effective than praising the accomplishment alone. You bring up a good point Bill - I'll certainly try to keep that in mind with my children too...

[gwen kapaln]

More than anything it's the time shared with a parent, and the genuine interest a parent takes in the child's music.
I loved going to music lessons with my girls, and I noticed at piano recitals that parents who played an instrument were able to share in and enjoy the experience with their kids even more so. I eventually took music lessons, and when I received encouragement I could see such a difference in my attitude towards practicing and my self confidence.
So yes it is encouragement, but i think genuine interest makes a big difference.

[antonio]

I think every child needs to be told,that they are doing a great job, But i also think that you either have it or you don't. I was one who did not,And when i did do a good job,My teacher never said any thing to give me hope.And to try harder.So teachers out there let every child know,that there is hope so they will try harder.